Jeremy Usborne: [voiceover] Well, you're very close to finding out. Mark Corrigan: Yeah, speeding dating, I'd be better off speed skating! Tash: Mark Corrigan. It might be. She should have to wear a mask for this kind of thing. Mark Corrigan: Why don't you just say who you're talking about? Maybe you'll attract a Naval Captain who'll come and rescue us in his frigate. Jeremy Usborne: Who gives a shit? It's our duty to God, Shiva, NASDAQ, whatever you want to call him. Jeremy Usborne: Yeah... Hey Mark, it's working! Last time I was round there we watched a porno. I'm Di, she's Bashir. Dobby: Yeah well, it used to be all pink and tidy but then feminism happened and we all just started pissing on the floor! Oh, Jesus, it's Mark! Tell them... tell them I'm doing a Stephen Fry, we're in Brussels, I'm eating chips and mayonnaise, I'm on the edge. Go and make a tent in the living room and eat Dairylea? I'm a friend and... Shoe Shop Manager: You're a friend of April's? [Jeff tries to leave the room but Mark blocks the doorway, making a chicken noise]. Maybe that's why I feel so at home here. Jeremy Usborne: Read the mitigating circumstances, there are loads. A roundup of the best quotes from the leading man of 'Peep Show' and all-round nervous wreck, Mark Corrigan. Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] Maybe I should follow her, she's so hyper she's probably really great at sex. So, I'll need the bed. The more, the merrier, they said as another poor soul was crammed into the Black Hole of Calcutta. Jeff Heaney: Oh, really? This is almost definetely a terrible idea. Jeremy Usborne: So, listen mate, about this whole you asking Sophie to get married, I mean, it's brilliant and everything, but I was just wondering, have you considered, like, not doing it? Was that the sort of thing you have in mind? You wanna give that shit a rest. Sophie Chapman: Yeah, it's Chairman Mao, isn't it? Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] A new boiler. Turn it on, play the game! Jeremy Usborne: [voiceover] I'm moving in! Got to think through these plans more. [Heather has been forced to tell Mark she's not interested in him]. Suze! Jeremy Usborne: It's just I found Mark laughing at it. Oh, you're not here. Mark Corrigan: Oh, that's a great law, isn't it? Is everything all right? Super Hans: Thoughts. [to the board] So, integrating Sales and Marketing - Project Zeus. She might have become leader of a pack of foxes or... Aurora: Jez, it's Mummy. I don't even know about road signs. Jeremy Usborne: But we've already been caught. I'll just go for these. Application letter to...? [Mark has been dragged along to a gay club by Sophie and her gay male friends and now they're all taking ecstasy]. Darryl: What? Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] At least she didn't wee on me. Mark Corrigan: I dunno, I kind of assumed it was because I spend all my time thinking about it. Going to need to waggle eventually, to keep the circulation going. Mark Corrigan: Ian's a...? I always knew you'd end up doing something like that. Super Hans: You should just a get a van. It's a large one. Darryl: And they're treating it as a racial incident? If you look like a sausage dog f***er, then I look like a sausage dog f***er. Johnson: What this department needs is a kick up the arse so hard, my foot'll go right up your digestive tract and wiggle out your mouth like a little leather tongue. Jeremy Usborne: [telling Mark he can come with him and Super Hans on the tour] But, no, Mark. Jeremy Usborne: She hasn't got a bongo, you weren't carrying a bong... there was no bongo. Movies. Jeremy Usborne: Oh, right, so it's weird to drink milk from someone you know, but to drink milk from another species, some cow you've never met, that's fine, is it? [the pizza man pushes a slice through the letterbox, but it has a draft-preventing brush which is scraping off all the topping]. Russell: Ah, it's terrible, it's horrible. : You're gonna do something disruptive, aren't you? Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] OK, here we go, wedding day. Jeremy Usborne: Well, we could start by just... moving his stuff out. Jeremy Usborne: At ?3.99 I think I know who's winning. Super Hans: 'Course I did. Blair on guitar, Bono on vocals, Clinton on sax. The last thing I need is an infant cramping my style. Cally: People always say they were, like, Napoleon or an Aztec princess. Jeremy Usborne: [trying to hide a smirk] Mm-hm. Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] Don't screw up. At least that'll make him look faintly ridiculous. Sophie Chapman: [Halfway through watching "Das Boot" with Mark] Oh, are they in a submarine? Official Sites Mark Corrigan: Put the sausage back. Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] My mother is giving me socks depicting a sexual position I have never even attempted. The righteous indignation of the common man. Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] Those kids have no idea whatsoever of what went on at Stalingrad. Super Hans: We are gonna have parties in this place that go beyond fun and actually get really, really nasty. Mark Corrigan: I totally agree, I couldn't agree more. Mark Corrigan: I can't believe coming here cost more than a film. Yeah, those were the days. They should pull their f***ing fingers out. So who exactly is winning, eh? Don't want him to enjoy it any more than is strictly necessary. [Jeremy and Super Hans are in the flat, in the aftermath of a drug binge]. : Uh, oh, demanded the Ramsgate blowjob? So, that's nice. Toni: Why, did you think I was going to invite my friends?
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